Don't Play With Fire, Unless You Can Handle Getting Burned

good morning everyone, it's 128am.  I just finally got everyone out of my house, I'm going to bed soon.  I totally bombed my physics exam today, boy it was bad..... Anyways, other than that today was okay, I'm must a little tired and underwhelmed at the moment.  Besides that everything else has been pretty boring today, I didn't have any CS work to do today thanks to the fact that I did it all last night.  I miss Lindsay, I haven't seen her in almost a week now.  For some people maybe a week isn't a long time, but I'm not some people.   Anyways, I'm gonna head off to dreamland.  Give me a call tmrw if you wanna hang out I'm free anytime after 9.

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Never Make Someone Your Priority When They Make You Their Option

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 31, 2003 00:31 | link | comments

Well, let's see I just finished doing CS for a good 6 hours.  Thank god I'm done.  Anyways, I wanted to go out but I had to take care of my stuff.  Other than that, I'm tired and I have a huge physics exam tomorrow.  I wrote some poetry earlier today, and if I have some time I'll try to post it later.  Alrighty yall, peace.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 29, 2003 22:09 | link | comments

Well, tonight has been kind of interesting.  I talked to lindsay on the phone, she sounded a little out of it.  So I was trying to make sure it wasn't anything I'd done, I have a tendency to do that sometimes, and I just wanted to make sure I hadn't done anything stupid.  Other than that, I'm very very tired and I was going to go to bed but I ran into a bunch of hw that needed to get done so I decided I would just go ahead and finish it.  Well I'm gonna go to bed now, cuz I have to get up for work in about 2 hours.  yay!!!!  Anyways, give me a call tmrw if you want to talk.  But right now is sleepytime

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 28, 2003 00:58 | link | comments

What's up everyone?  Anyways, I just got back from school/Computer Science......  Ahhhhh!!!!!!!  Yeah we all know how I fell about that class.  Well, I think I'm gonna be going to hang out with Jas tonight.  Oh and if anyone who's reading this want to help me with this really annoying C++ Class implementation, drop me a line.  It's starting to annoy me.  Well, back to work.  I may not give off the impression but I spend a lot more tiome on hw then most people think I do.  It's just a matter of staggering it so that when other people ask what I'm doing I can say "nothin' wanna chill?"  haha..  Well If you wanna talk I'll be here or at Jas's later y'all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 27, 2003 18:46 | link | comments

Wow, note to self "don't ever eat a bunch of hamburger helper lasagna before going to bed" Man I had some really f**ed up dreams last night.  Whoa!!!  They were weird.   Anyways I'm doin' the normal justin on mondays routine, get to school, chich fil-a, post here.  Anyways, I would go into detail on these weird dreams but I'm actually trying to forget them.  Well, I'm actually kinda looking forward to this weekend.  If you don't count the CS work I have left to do it's all gonna be pretty sweet.  So I guess I'll just have to get all of my work out of the way.  Oh yeah, in case you haven't checked in a while. Read the post right below this one, I like all the quotes.  I think I'm gonna add them to my quotes list

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 27, 2003 10:38 | link | comments

Well Ladles and gellyspoons, it's been a long night and I'm gonna get some sleep. this weekend was pretty cool. I'll write more about it lata. In the meantime I'm posting a bunch of quotes, that I either think are funny, or helpful...

The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
-- From an article on the growth of federal regulations in the Oct. 24th issue of National Review

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
-- Author Unknown

If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything is ready, we shall never begin.
-- Ivan Turgener

Having the ability to do something yourself includes knowing when to let others help you.
-- Sherri Mogenson

"Little deeds of kindness, little words of love,
Help to make earth happy like the heaven above." -- Julia A. Fletcher Carney

"Don't curse the darkness -- light a candle." -- Chinese proverb.

"When I hear somebody sigh, 'Life is hard,' I am always tempted to ask, 'Compared to what?'" -- Sydney Harris

"The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not on our circumstances." -- Martha Washington

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 27, 2003 00:35 | link | comments

Well, today should be a good day.  I get to see Lindsay .  Anyways I just finished a long session of composing and coding.  The coding part sucked.  I HATE SEG FAULTS.  Anyways, seeing Lindsay will make it all better.  Cuz I'll forget about how annoying that CsS project was.  Well, I'll be out and about for the rest of the evening.  So if you wanna talk shoot me a call on my cell, I can't promise I'll answer but I'll get back to you when I can

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 25, 2003 15:30 | link | comments

Well, I got a bunch of sleep last night.  I'm just having some internal debates (anyone who reads this on a regular basis knows I'm really good at that)  Well, I think I've got the vast majority of them worked out.  Anyways, I'm just waiting for Lindsay to call and tell me what her plans are for the nite.  She said she wouldn't know until today.  So I'm expecting a call.  Either way is fine I just need to know.  Well, I'm gonna go do some laundry but I'll be around if you wanna talk.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 24, 2003 13:23 | link | comments

Well, I said what I had to say.  It feels a lot better to know that someone knows how I feel now.  Thanks to all the people who commented on my last post.  Anyways......  I'm kinda tired I think I'm gonna go watch the baseball game and go to sleep.  Well I might get to see Lindsay tmrw night, which would make me happy.  I love her so much.  Well..., I'm gonna go lay down for a little while. 

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 23, 2003 17:59 | link | comments

My grandma and I were having a very interesting conversation tonight, she said "Justin, you are too giving to other people, you always put yourself out on the line for people who wouldn't do the same for you.  Maybe you sohuld sit back and see what happens when you put some of the responsibility on them.  I only hope that one day you'll find someone capable of loving you as much as you can love them"  That's my grandma, she's always trying to look out for me. 

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 23, 2003 09:58 | link | comments (2)

Well, I'm currently doing some major introspection.  Just kinda thinkin' about how I deal with people, and things.  Don't know why, it just kinda came up inside my head today.  So If you wanna talk just drop me a line

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 22, 2003 18:05 | link | comments

Hola mis amigos, anyways I'm just sitting here at school playing around on the linux box. w00t!!! Anwyays, I was just thinking aobut how I seem to be falling behind in m school work so I am trying to vehemtnly catch up with everything, although it hasn't been to esasy. I'm no finally aught up with everything that I needed to have done, except for physics, but I'm studying like mad for physics on thursday. Other than that, I was just thinking about Lindsay, cuz I always do......... Well, I'll be at school for most of the day but I'm almost alwaqys available on the cell or im if you neeed to talk.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 22, 2003 10:30 | link | comments

Hey, what's going on everyone. Well, today was a weird day. It started off pretty cool cuz I got to see Lindsay. I alwaqys love getting to see her, I really don't think there's anything that makes me feel better. I've had a migraine from hell for the past 3 days straight now... I've tried switching up painkillers, Aleve, Advil, Tylenol, Ketoprofen. I don't wanna take any more of the oxycontin that the doctor gave me becuz that stuff messes with my head way too much, and makes me all weird in the mind. I miss L:indsay, I dunno, I guess you have to have been truly in love to know what I mean. I just wish I could see her all the time, life's not perfect though, as much as I wish it was. Well, I am absolutley beat to hell, so I am going to go to bed pretty soon, I might post a little bit morte later, I'm not sure yet.

 

There’s a fine line between love and fear.
When you’re truly in love, you’re afraid.
Afraid of the uncertainty of the future
Afraid of stupid things done in the past
Afraid of going to sleep at night,
And never waking up to see you again
Afraid to wake up and realize you were a dream.
Why, then, do I feel so secure with you?
I know.
Does true love means there’s nothing to be afraid of??

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 21, 2003 21:31 | link | comments

What's up everyone??? I'm just doing my usualy monday routine surfing the web in the JC.  Well, last night was cool, I ate dinner with lindsay and if you forget about the me getting sick part, it was most excellent.  Well, it's about time to be off to Multivariable Calc....... YAY!!!! riiiiight.....   Anywyas I'll be back later to talk to some people.  Peace

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 20, 2003 10:47 | link | comments

okay, now I'm feeling 100% better.  It's all good now.  yay!!!!

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 19, 2003 20:03 | link | comments

Good afternoon ladles and jellyspoons, I come before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothin about.  Next Thursday which is Good Friday, tehre will be amother's meeting for father's only.  Take a chair and sit on the floor.

Anyways......  I'm done now, YAY!!! I finished my application packet thingy, it was annoying, and it took me severaly hours to fill out the medical history part.  Boy was that annoying.  Well, I;m feeling a lot beter than I did last night.  As a matter of fact I'm feeling about 95.564% better.  Yup exactly 95.564%, what would amke it 100% you ask, well I'll tell you, getting to see Lindsay would make it 100%, or maybe if I won a trillion dollars.....  Nah, just seeing Lindsay would make it 100%. Oh well, I'm going to go work on some hw but I'm always here if someone wants to talk

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 19, 2003 14:52 | link | comments

Well, I just finished a poem. It's not exactly how I feel at the moment, but it's kinda close. It's a poem about introspection, and feeling helpless. You know the feeling, when you want so much to be given a chance to make someone happy and they just shut you out. It's not meant to be inflamatory, I just had to say this so take it for what you want, but don't blow it all out of proportion...

Sorry for being any trouble
Sorry for being an annoyance
For being me
Seems your too busy
Sorry for wanting to be with you
Sorry for trying to make you happy
For loving you so much
Seems you’re afraid to see me
Sorry for needing you

Sorry for thinking I could help
For wanting to be a part of you life
Seems I just don’t fit in right now

 

Lindsay, I still love you, and will always do so.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 18, 2003 16:34 | link | comments

I'm not happy right now. Very not happy. Oh well, I'm gonna go out, by myself, alone, with noone else. Call me if you wanna chill. Cuz I could definetly need someone to talk to.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 18, 2003 12:53 | link | comments

Well, I wanna whine a little bit.  So that's what I'm gonna do.  Well, I spent an hour today cooped up inside a wall getting MRI's.  That was just the strat of the day.  Then I got all woozy at the dr. office and they had to give me fluids, I think I was just groggy...  Anyways, so after that I went in search for a new knee brace, didn't find one.  After that, I went and got my haircut Michelle, my hair stylist, was the one saving grace of my day, she made me laugh all through my haircut.  So after the temporary reprieve I called Lindsay and well to make it short; We didn't do anything tonite.  So after I talked ot her online Ryan came over, and we talked about stuff.  It was good to talk to Ryan about this stuff.  He was my therapist throughout all of my senior year of high school, and he knew what was wrong.  In the eternal words of the Roeligion.  "Fuck It!"  So after that nothing too interesting happened I went for a drive and waited for a phone call which never came.  That brings me up through now, at which point I am writing a poem.  So there ya go, Noone asked me how my day was and I felt like telling someone so sorry for the punishment.  Actually I feel a little better now.  Hopefully I'll feel a lot better tmrw...................

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 17, 2003 20:52 | link | comments

You Know, sometimes I wish my life would have more surprises in it.  I seem to always know what's going to happen.  Not that I mind, knowing when and where I'm going to be doing stuff.  I just wish that people would surprise me every now and then.  Like my dad, who poped up completely out of nowhere yesterday and bought me a slurpee.  Now that was cool.  Oh well I digresss, tme to go to classes.  Fun Fun Fun with the Physics.  WooHoo

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 16, 2003 09:06 | link | comments

Words can't express the depth of these feelings.
Stumbling around with my head reeling.
How can I say what I feel for you?
Yet, I know in my heart you feel it, too.

How could I be so lucky to find such a woman?
A kiss on my cheek or the touch of your hand-
These things thrill me to the point of elation.
I thank God and the heavens for your creation.

A month of magic you've given to me.
Because of you, a new world I see.
My friend, my lover... my soul mate.
Our worlds have collided- simply, by fate.

My heart is yours, I offer it to you.
How to live without you, I wouldn't have a clue.
From that first kiss it all came together.
Now I want and need you forever.

This love is a gift we are fortunate to share.
I inhale your love, like I breathe in the air.
You are my music, my light... everything I do.
All my happiness, I owe to you.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 14, 2003 18:58 | link | comments

Hola, what's up everyone?  I;m just sitting here in the Johnson Center waiting until I have to leave to go to my Computer Scince lecture.  YAWN!!!!!!!  Anyways, Yesterday was fun we made all sorts of food and it was yummy and good.  Yah, I wish I could see Lindsay today, but I have this stupid schedule today becuz of the holiday, grrrrrr.......   Well, I'll be on-line during my class cuz I'll be programming while the teacher is lecturing so if you want to drop me a line, y'all know my SN: hitokirijusuchin.  Alright, talk to y'all later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 14, 2003 14:48 | link | comments

Bongiorno!  I'm a little tired, my uncle and I have been slaving over the hot stove for a good 11 hours.  But the food was most yummy.  mmmmmm........................   Anyways, I'm gonna be watching the game and trying not to fall asleep, but we'll see what happens.  Anyways if you want to talk give me a call on my cell phone.  Laterz

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 13, 2003 18:47 | link | comments

I  Lindsay

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 11, 2003 23:25 | link | comments

Well...... tonite was interesting to say the least.  I hope everyone is feeling good and happy, I know I'm going to bed soon, and I know who my dreams are going to include.  WooHOOOOO!!!!!!  haha.  Anyways I'm just going to go scrummage a little food and then I'm going to go to bed, actually maybe I'll hang with Alex and Ludin for a lil' bit, lil' bit.  Alrgihty Y'all Talk to Ya LAterz

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 11, 2003 23:24 | link | comments

Well, well, well.   LEt's see what am I doing today.  CLEANING, fridays are kinda nice but also kinda not so cool at the same time.  I'm doing laundry and cleaning the apartamento.  Other than that I'm gfonna chill with Ludin tonite maybe and Alex hopefully we'll see what the dealio is.  Other than that not too much  happened today.  Well, back to luandry and stuff.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 10, 2003 13:49 | link | comments

WHOA!!!! Check it out.... I updated the css template.  Well I slept in until 11am today, and boy did I need it. I had gone exactly 47 hours without sleep, and I decided that it was definetly time to be getting some shut-eye.  And someone made me promise to go to sleep....   Well, besdied that not sleeping part this week has actually been pretty amazing.  I'm loving life at the moment, I had a fwe things that needed to be worked out on Tuesday, I'm glad they all got taken care of though.  Cuz now everything's cool.  And I'm feeling much better, I'm just glad I got to see Lindsay yesterday, just seeing her face brightens up my day.  Well, I'm trying to finish my hw for the rest of next week.  If I get done then I won't have any hw to do at all next week or possibly even the week after.  Wish me luck.  Peace all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 09, 2003 16:22 | link | comments

Well............ Today sucked. Yep, it really blew the big one. I'll post more in a bit. Currently, *looking for something to blow up*

A Quote For Some People, courtesy of my dad "What ever happened to reciprocity???"

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 07, 2003 14:16 | link | comments (1)

YOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! What's up? I'm just sitting at school rocking out to some tunes. "I'm in the mood for love......." hahaha. Anyways, I hope everyone enjoyed their days, especially those people who had surpries in their day. . Alrighty, I'm gonna get back to some vicious mid-term writing. So I'll post later

Yo LUDIN!!!!!! right click on this link and select "save target as" This Is Some really Funny Stuff of David Ludin Right Click Here To Download, It Is Kinda Big

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 06, 2003 13:19 | link | comments

Hey all, I've just been wokring on stuff.......  Those of you who get it will get it and those who don't won't.  Anyways I won't be home until about 700 tmrw.  I have a bunch of dr. appt's in the morning and then classes and work to do later.  Other than that, I'm working on a super secret special project.  oooooooohhhh, aaaaahhhhhhh...  You can question me about it later.  But unless I've already talked to you about it your not involved nor will you be.  Anyways, I've gotta go, I took a bunch of decongestants/anti-histmaines and I am so groggy I can hardly stand up straight.  I'll talk to y'all later. Peace,

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at October 05, 2003 23:48 | link | comments