Don't Play With Fire, Unless You Can Handle Getting Burned

When I hear somebody say 'Life is hard', I am always tempted to ask 'Compared to what?'

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 30, 2003 18:43 | link | comments

Hey, just a quick little post to let everyone know what's up.  I watned to sleep in today, but for some reason body decided it didn't like that idea and woke up at 10am.  grrrrrr......  Anyways, I'll talk to everyone later.

Song of the moment: "How Many Cans" by Soul Coughing.  Download it and listen, you'll know why it's so pertinent to my current situation

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 30, 2003 12:53 | link | comments

yo all, well after quite the annoying 'bout with pnemonia, I'm medically back but not necessarily feeling completely better yet. Well I'm gonna be around but I'm bored and we all know what happens when I get bored. * goes off conetmplating things that shouldn't be contemplated* Give me a call if you wanna do something later. Peace

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 29, 2003 18:15 | link | comments

I feel like crap. I'm so sick and no one is here to care for me.  Oh well, I'll try to put the time to some good use and make myself some cookies.  Anyays, give me a call if you wanna talk.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 27, 2003 20:32 | link | comments

right now, I'm in a very strange place emotionally.  I just don't know what to do anymore.  I wish there was something I could do to make it better but there isn't.  I know that and basically all I can do now is wait.  Hopefully it doesn't take to long before everything works itself out.  But I'm gonna have to be patient.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 25, 2003 20:11 | link | comments

Yo all, I'm sitting at school on an iMAC doing my hw. Anyways, I was just thinking about posting some poetry here. Unfortuantely I don't think that I have ime righ now. I have to be studying for a calc exam. yay for calculus!! So sorry for those of you that wanted a new poem, I promise I'll try to post something later tonite, I have classes until 710. Later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 24, 2003 10:10 | link | comments (1)

well, I'm gonna need some time alone for a little bit.  That's all I can say right now, but let's just say I got an e-mail about something important and I need to go take care of it.  Call my cell if you need to talk to me.  Otherwise I'll be back later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 23, 2003 14:22 | link | comments

I use to have a heart, then I gave it to someone who decided they couldn't "handle" it anymore.  So now, all that's left is an empty space.  Why do bad things happen to good people.  Because apparently people are assholes, and life's a bitch.  So fuck it all, cuz when everyone else treat's you like you don't matter, eventually you begin to believe it.  I'm opnly glad I have the friends I do, because without them getting through this past week would have been much more difficult if not impossible.  "I've been the most loving, and understanding person, But none of that has ever mattered."  Honestly, maybe people just don't understand this whole golden rule thing.  I think that if I started treating a lot of people like they treat me they'd get pretty pissed off and say "Hey, what's your problem?!?"  INow, I would never do that, I'm not that kinda guy.  I just think that people take advantage of my kindness, and generosity.  What am I supposed to do, shut people out??????  How the hell can that solve any problem's the solution to problems isn't to shut them out from the world it's to let your friends shine that light when you can't fel it anymore.  People that push people away, are going to end up living ALONE, and they deserve it, cuz I can tell you from experience there's nothing worse than trygin to love someone who continualy pushes you away.  Whoever said "'tis better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all" was obviously never in love.  That's all I'm gona say about that.  Comments/Rants/Wanna Argue???, click that comment button

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 20, 2003 20:05 | link | comments (2)

Hey all, this is the last poem I might post for a little while.  I've gotta myself back in check.  And I could really use an explanation, but I'm still waiting for one of those. 

I've been hurt. I've been let down. I've been handed back my broken heart After it's been shattered on the ground. I've been crushed. I've been pushed aside. I've been trapped inside this labyrinth, And at every exit, I'm denied. I feel like I'm just another guy. I feel like I'm just a face in the crowd. I feel as if I'm screaming at the top of my lungs But the words aren't coming out. I've been cold. I've been running on empty. I've been crashing into dead end streets And no one's there to help me pick up the debris. I've been lonely. I've been disgraced. I've been staring at my portrait in the mirror Wishing my figure could be erased. I feel like I've been overlooked. I feel like I'm insignificant. I feel as if I'm drowning in this shallow water, But I'm swimming in cement. I've been damaged. I've been walked all-over, and shredded. I've been crying myself to sleep every night Over where my life is headed. I've been lost; I guess I'll never be found. I've been trapped inside this hell And no one cares to look around. I've been desolate. I've been tattered. I've been the most loving, and understanding person, But none of that has ever mattered. =================================================== Never make someone your priority, when they make you their option.

 

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 18, 2003 18:59 | link | comments

just a quick link about something that happened recently.

http://members.cox.net/yukihitokiri/Broken_Heart_-blood_lust_2-.jpg

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 18, 2003 15:25 | link | comments (1)

Well, I was sitting the middle of CS class, and I got a voice mail message. Ummmm.... Holy Fucking Shit. Well, seeing as how everyone in my class started staring at me when I burst into tears in the middle of class, during an exam. I left class. Ummmmm...... I'm kind of in shock right now and I don't know what to do. I've gotta go, I can't talk about this anymore right now. All I ever wanted was someone to care, apparently that was "too much to ask for"

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 17, 2003 16:49 | link | comments

I'm just sitting here at J.D's, we're waiting for blair to call.  Then we are going to go out and do something, we're not sure what yet, but most defiently we'll do something fun.  Anywyas  I'l have my cell on all night if anyone wants to give me a call.  Anyways, I'll talk to y'alls later.

Peace

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 15, 2003 21:15 | link | comments

Well, I didn't get much sleep last night.  I had a lot fo stuff on my mind.  Anyways, and this is to someone who knows who they are.  You know how I feel, and I just wanted to let you know how much you mean to me.  I have more school work to do.  So I'll be back later.  Anyone who wants to talk can give me a call. 

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 15, 2003 14:01 | link | comments

I spent a lot of time working on music last night.  Anyways, I have to go visit someone, and then go for a bunch of poking and prodding myself.  Fun, huh? Anyways, I should have my cell so call me if you wanna do something this weekend, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet so I'm up for pretty much anything.  Peace

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 14, 2003 12:16 | link | comments

Yola, everyone... Anyways I'm mjust sitting here waiting to go take a multivariable calculus exam. Yay for me!!!! Anyways, I was just thinking about writing a new web page in my links section. I don't really have the time right now to be worrying about so it'll probly have to wait until either thankgiving or x-mas break (seeing as how I get 6 weeks of x-mas not including finals) Anyways, I have a class implementation file to code so I'll get back to that but if anyone wants to talk to me I'll have my cell on almost all day, except during the exam of course. Later all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 12, 2003 10:41 | link | comments

Well, I'm gonna go to bed.  I am relishing in my $66,000 jeopardy game I played at Jason's house, man I schoooled that game.  Anyways, I'm gonna be up and about early tmrw probly aroudn 430 or so.  So if you wanna grab breakfast tmrw or study for physics, I'm only a phone call away.  Other than that, I'm gonna finish writing some poetry and then go to bed.  G'night all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 10, 2003 23:00 | link | comments

AHHHHH!!!!! Well I just aced a calc quiz so that kinda put me in a better mood. Anyways I'll be at school doing nothing so if you wanna talk just call me on my cell. Peace

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 10, 2003 13:25 | link | comments

Just kinda sitting here waiting for a phone call. Other than that I might go to the grocier store. maybe find a fotball game to watch or something.call my cell and leave some luv. I could use it. Oh yeah, I'm not doing much today so if you wanna give me a call and see what's up go right ahead.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 09, 2003 13:24 | link | comments

Something that just kind of struck me:

I'm black and blue
from mental bruises.
confusing myself
leaves yet another welt
on my back.

i'm split in half
right down the middle.
not knowing which way to turn
tears me further.

i'm drowning
in a pool of my own tears
caused by
my own discretions.

i'm salting my wounds
and i'll grin and bare it
just to show myself
that it's impossible to hurt me.
or so i wish.

i'm cracked and broken
from falling too hard.
and i dont thing
bandaids and duct tape
can help me this time.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 09, 2003 11:43 | link | comments

well, f#ck.  Tonite sucked

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 08, 2003 20:22 | link | comments

well today has been really draining, and so far pretty sucky. I liked working on the art, but it drained me and everything kinda went downhill from there. Well I'm still willing to give this day a chance to get better, so we'll wait and see what happens.

Honestly though, I really just wish that people in my life would be more spontaneous.  Like how last night blair and JD just called me up out fo the blue and said we're gonna do something.  I wish more people were like that.  It was a pleasant surprise, I like those a lot... but I don't get enough of them.  I do all sorts of things to surprise people, especially a few certain ones, I guess that's just the kind of thing I like, who knows....  Anyways, I've ranted enough.  But hey if anyone wants to just drop by and surprise me, I promise I'd love it.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 07, 2003 14:41 | link | comments (1)

Well, I slept in today. I kinda went out to see the Matrix Revolutions again last night, with J.D and Blair. It was definetly nice to see them outside the context of physics class. Anyways, I'm just sitting here working on my graphics tablet at school for a little bit. I've got some things that I need to get airburshed out in Painter, and then I'm gonna photoshop some stuff while working on a few new songs in renoise or something like that, I haven't decided what tracker I'm gonna use yet. Well, hopefully I'll get a chance to see Lindsay tonite. *hopes, hopes, hopes. If not I'll see her tmrw. To all who I talked to, I think Lindsay liked the flowers . Anyways, I've gott aget back to work for a lil' bit. I'll check back later. If you wanna talk you can always IM me at pdpyromaster. Lata

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 07, 2003 13:22 | link | comments

Yo everyone.  Well I got absolutely no sleep last night.  I hink I got maybe 15 minutes or so, I was up doing a project and decided to finish Lab8 while I was at it.  Anyways, today is the 6th woohoo!!!!!!!  The 6th is a good day, for those of you that know what I mean...  Well I'll write a little more later, seeing as how my Physics class starts in about 8 minutes I figure I should start heading to class.  Well I'll talk to y'all later.  I love you Lindsay

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 06, 2003 10:51 | link | comments

Hola everyone.  Well I just got back from the Matrix.... w00t!!!  Anyways, tonite is gonna be a busy night.  I've got CS to do and other stuff to do...........  I've gotta go find a clear plastic bag but I dunno If i can find one.  Anyways, give me a call I'd lvoe for you to help me procrastinate.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 05, 2003 20:00 | link | comments

Well, it's 11:37 and I'm giving up on getting any more phone calls from anyone.  Anyways, I just finished writing an addition to a poem.  YAY for me!!!  I'm just way too tired to really continue this post at length so I'm just gonna say I'll write more tmrw.  Adios All

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 02, 2003 22:38 | link | comments

Well, boy last night lasted forever.  My party went until 530 in the morning....  So I slept in today.  Anyways, I'm going out with Lindsay later today so that should be cool.  I like surprises.  Anyways, I'll post later, I've got to go take care of some stuff, shower etc....

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at November 01, 2003 14:03 | link | comments