Don't Play With Fire, Unless You Can Handle Getting Burned

Hey, it's leap day!  *Does crazy dance.  Anyways, I had a late lnight last night.  I threw a party, and they're were about 15 people over.  We had an absolute blast.  I love having parties, and several people told me it was the best oparty that they'd been to in a long time.  I like to hear things like that.  Everyone also watned to hear stories, and seeing as how everyone knew I'm a pretty good story-teller, I spent a bout an hour trying to catch everyone up on everytyhion that had been going on, since a lot of people have been away at aschool and we all came home for spring break.  Anyways, I've got a paper to write on Bertold Brecht's Galileo, so we'll see what's going on later, and I  may or may not post again.  Have a good day peeps.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 29, 2004 13:17 | link | comments

Well, I'm glad to be done with the book however, I keep coming up with things now, that I could add, but I say to myself it's done now.  So I'm thinking I'm going to buy a journal and start writing all of my stuff down in it, and probly post a lot of it here.  Again I'd like too thank everyone who made this possible, well, almost everyone.............  Anyways, I'm going to post a small section of the book, I think the running price for the book is going to be somewhere in the $10-11 range, initially plus a few bucks for reatil markup, not exactly sure.  Oh well, we'll see how it all works out.  Well, I'm going to get back to doing hw, I've got so much to catch up on it isn't even funny.  Later Everyone

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 28, 2004 15:59 | link | comments

I miss love.........

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 25, 2004 20:39 | link | comments (2)

Where is everyone???  Noone's commented, I'm feeling left out...   Anyways, I'm doing ma physics hw, then I'm going to go try to sleep, we'll see how that works out... G'night everyone

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 25, 2004 20:15 | link | comments

It seems to have been a slow week... Anyways, I'm just getting ready to go to bed.  I'm excrutiatingly tired, and sore, seeing as how I messed up my shoulder, and still am trying to make it to the gym regularly.  Oh well, what am I to do?  Anyways,  I'm going to psot a poem sometime before this weekend, hopefully, until later, I'm going to bed.  G'night all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 24, 2004 23:48 | link | comments

okay so I lied, I decided I was gonna write another post.  Anyways, I just got back from a great workout at the gym, Swimming 1500 meters in 30 mins. is a good workout.  I'm gonna get tired real soon, adn seeing as how I have a class tmrw morning at 9am I should probly be going to bed soon, but I just thought I would see what everyone was up to, I find it hard to resist getting on the computer whenever I get near it.  Oh well, I guess it's my weakness.  Anyways, I'm going to do a little work on Physics then hit the sack for what looks to be another long day tmrw, g'nnight all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 23, 2004 21:54 | link | comments

hola everyone.  About the post from last night, I hope I didn't scare anyone with it, I'm just a little peevd about that.  Oh well, some poeple are just ignorant.  Anyways, I was going to be at the gym swimming right now, but when I got there about a billion 7 year olds were all in the pool so I decided I would come back later.  I don't know if I will post later, anyways I gotta go get some paper-writing action on.  Later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 23, 2004 19:01 | link | comments

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got a ltter in the mail, telling me that my processing for my security clearance went through.  So now I have a job for the summer, YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm happy now, cuz the job ays about $15.50 an hour.. w00t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 21, 2004 13:20 | link | comments (1)

hola, people's I'm just taking a break from cleaning my apartment, which I've been doing for about the past 2 hours.  I think the smell of the windex and 409 is giving me a killer headache.  But yeah, I'm  trying not to do too much this weekend, unfortuantely I have certain people in my life that just love to siphon all of my free time away.  Most of the time it's interesting but sometimes it's just monotonous. (see: doing physics computer science hw)  Anyways, I'll post a poem later this weekend As I begin the final putsch towards getting my final copy of the book submitted and edited and printed.  It's expensive to print out 600 pages of paper each time you want to do an edit.....  Anyways, I'm going to get back to cleaning.  Later all.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 20, 2004 14:58 | link | comments

WEll, I'm sitting in Tom's dorm,. we just got back from the gym and he's taking a shower then we are going o go begin the bane of existence, PHYS260 HW.   It is most definetly not fun.  Anyways, I was just going to write a post now because I know that I'm going to both A) get home really really late and B) Be really really tired.  And I have a huge linked list to write for CS whihc is due ina few weeks so I need to get started.  Anyways, it's off to Ciao Hall so that we can scarf food and do hw.  Later all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 19, 2004 13:10 | link | comments (1)

Well, today has been an obscenely long day..........  I got up at 6am.  I didn't even remember that there was a 6am...  Anyways, I took my Matrix Algebra exam, not too sure as to how I did on it though.  Then I was supposed to see Steph, but she slept in so I went ahead and typed up my Computer Science External Documentation.  After that I hung out with Steph and Victor for a while in Sub1.  We were going to play pool but alas, no table was open.  Grrrr......  Anyways, it really sucks when you don't get to see people as often as you'd like to.  In fact known only to me I'm actively observing something right now, we'll see what the result is and I'll post about it later if it turns out good.  I noticed today I almost always seem to be the planner.  I can't remember the last time one of my friends called me up and said "Hey, you want to do something?"  Very intriguing, it kinda irks me.  Maybe that's just my personality type.  Or maybe it the fact that I'm getting really really tired of being so accommodating towards everyone all of the time.  I can't really say.  Maybe it's a little of both.  I just wish that for once people would just make plans and then ask me to go along.  I'm tired of having to come up with plans all of the time, I just don't have the free time in my schedule to plan out activities for all of you people.  As much as I want to hang out with all of my friends, it would appear to me that, the ones that I should spend the most time with, are the ones who would make an effor to spend time with me.  Speaking economically of course, It's lost opportunity cost.  Anways, have you ever gotten tired of being decisive???  I mean being the person who makes the plans is cool, but I don't have the energy, or time, or good health for that matter.  However, I'll save talking about my current health situation for another post.  Also I'm just really getting tired of indecisive people.  I'm about ready to pop.  I swear if I get one more response like "well, I dunno, what do you wanna do?" I'm going to scream.  I don't really know how to fix what's going on, and I don't know if writing about it is going to help at all.  I'm just tired of people whining about stuff they have every ability to influence and change for the better but don’t'.  Why, I don't know why they do it.  Maybe they like to whine, maybe they just want to be annoying, or maybe they honestly don't know any better.  But basically I'm starting to get to the point I was at with "you know who (a.k.a my ex significant other)" with a few of my friends, and I really don’t like that.  Basically I don't want to spend time with them because all they seem to do is not want to come up with any plans.  They want me to do it for them.  And personally I"M tired of it.  Well, That's enough for now.  Sorry about the emotional outburst and the fact that I probably repeated myself a few times.  Anyways, I'll post a poem to make up for it later or something, it depends on what time I get back from the gym.  Later...

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 18, 2004 16:34 | link | comments

This Fragile Heart

 

If you take this fragile heart of mine

Please do so very gently

If it breaks again, it will be for the last time

So many times before have I had to put it back together

I can't take getting hurt again

I know that if my fragile heart gets shattered

This time it will be forever

Not many pieces are left

To put back in place

No matter what you see on the outside

There's a fragile heart behind this smile on my face

So please don't lie

And tell me what I long to hear

The sweetest lies in the world

Are not worth an eternity of tears

So tell me now if you're going to leave

So maybe this fragile heart I can somehow freeze

I will give you all of my trust and most of my love

Please forgive me if I'm guarded

Right now that's all I'm capable of

Until I trust my heart in your hands

Until I know we've been through the worst

Because if you squeeze too tight, my fragile heart will surely burst

So please be careful with my love and more careful with my trust

If you take these things lightly

My fragile heart will turn to dust

So take me with such caution

And take me with great care

Because if I'm taken and thrown away

That surely will be too much

For this fragile heart to bear

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 17, 2004 21:13 | link | comments (1)

Well, the last of things are getting finished up.  Today was alll about the frenetic pace at which the whole semester has been thus far.  It's just been an enormous amount of work that just keeps piling up on me, and just when I begin to think that I'm getting on top of it, another 10 assigenments come crashing down on top of me.  Well, I'm off to work on some of my hw, and then hopefully I'll have a little time to work a little magic with my book.  I submitted the second revision a few days ago, the final draft is still pending, and I'm not exactly sure when I'm gonna finish it completely.  Most likely it will all be said and done either before the break or during Spring Break sometime.  Hopefully the former rather than the latter.  Okay, so that was the update for the night.  Time to go back to studying Parametric Vector Eqaution in Matrix Algebra, and LaPlace Transform's........  Goodnight all...

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 17, 2004 21:09 | link | comments

yo, I'msitting here studiny fo rmatrix algebra, well, at least trying to study for Matrix Algebra, wiht Tom.  Unofrtunately the calss i ridiculously stupid, and Basically just the same 8 theorems over and over again. Yeah... It it is most definetly not fun..  Anyways, I'm gonna gop for now.  Later all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 17, 2004 17:01 | link | comments

Well, I got my 10,000th hit today,  boy that's a big numer   Anyways, I'm debating whther or not I am going top publish an elctronic copy of my book onto the website.  I'm thinking about linking in my links...  What does everyone think, would anyone read it if I did.  It is kinda long.  But if someone tells me they want me to put it up I will.  Anyways, I'm gonna get back to my hw...  Have a wonderful night all... Well most of you

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 16, 2004 19:50 | link | comments (1)

oh and whoever get's the big round number for hits better leave a comment

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 15, 2004 20:29 | link | comments (2)

Well, I said I was going to post a poem tonight.  YAY for me for getting all of my work done early today so that I had plenty of time to chill with my dad.  Today was kind of a relaxin' day, it was also the first time I got more than 5.5 hours of sleep in a night for the past few weeks.  Anyways, here's the poem.  I'll try to be a little more talkative this week.  We';ll see, My next round of projects aren't due for a few more days.  Alrighty everyone, have a good night.

 

You Can Never Understand

 

You can never understand…

In life there are things that we hold dear to our hearts. People, places, possessions, memories. But there is always something that that is always within our hearts through times both good and bad. Love, the ones you love are always dear to our hearts. But even as we live and love, you can never understand how much you truly love something, until you have lost it. Be with the ones you love now, they will not always be there. Say what should be said, say what must to be said. Because if you wait, it may be too late.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 15, 2004 20:27 | link | comments (1)

oh boy, well I finished my CS project, all 900 something lines of code and it's accompanyin 3 page documentation file.  That was a beast of a project.  I'm really glad that I strated on it last week.  Anyways, I'm going to bed now, but since I finished my project expect a big long post tmrw, probly involving some sort of poetry.  alright, all...  Vosotro tenaís buenas noches!!  Estoy poder hablar mas en la mañana.  pero adios para ahora.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 15, 2004 01:00 | link | comments

Well, it's thursday night, and seeing as I have absolutely no energy left from this week, I'm going to bed. I'm going to try to post a poem later, like this weekend or so. But that dpends on whether or not I get my CS project done on time. Well, I'm totally incoherent now so g'night everyone. Oh and whoever get's that super awesome 10000th hit, better let me know.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 12, 2004 22:04 | link | comments (1)

lab reports = evil.  My current vocabular = non-existent.  My sleepiness factor =high.  That means I need to get more than 3 hours of sleep for a change.  Later everyone

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 11, 2004 21:36 | link | comments

aqnd yes, I do cry.  Too much work

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 11, 2004 15:04 | link | comments

what's up?  Anyways I'm just sitting over in the labs right now waiting to go to Computer Science for my exam.....  ewwwwww.  I don't wanna get tested on STL vector's and templates, and inheritance.  Not fun......  Anyways, I'm going to be back later tongith so this is probably going to be my only post for the day.  Yeah, about that last poem, I'm just working on it cuz I want it to go in the book.  I don't think I'm really that hung up on her anymore, just every now and then you get that little twinge inside your heart, reminding you of how hap[py you used to be.  I don't know if that makes any sense or not.  All I know is I had to deal with it in the way that I did, because for some people subtlety just doesn't work...   But I digress, I've still gotta write up the conlcusions for that physics lab report, and do the hand calculations.  Not fun.  And I have to work on my CS project and I still don't have any free time, it is mkost definetly not cool.  Well,I'm gonna go fornow, maybe if I have some time I wil post b4 I go to bed, but I don't know.  It depends on how tired I am.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 11, 2004 15:03 | link | comments

just a quick little update for now,  might post a little more later: for now I think I'll jus post a little bit of a poem...  Anyways, yeah being ultra buys really sucks, I just don't have the time I want to do the things I want to do.  But as I've always said, there's always time to give to people. you just have to make it. *glares*  Anyways, I've gotta get back to working on my Physics Lab Write-Up, 20 page weekly assignem,tn for a 1 credit class, it's absolutely ridculous.

Anyways here's the part of the poem:

i can't see the light
that i'm trying to find
the last time i saw this
beautiful illumination
was when i looked into your eyes
it was loves instigation
now that light is gone
it ran away from me
just like you did
you found a better place to be
I wish you were here
With your arms around me tight
But I just can’t
Cant find that light…

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 10, 2004 14:49 | link | comments (1)

Hola everybody, I prmise I'm going to try to start making regular posts again.  The past week has been absolutel mayhem in terms of free time.  I haven't had s ingle lick of time for myself.  I really just want to run a big bath and soak for a few hours while listening to some music...  ahhhh that would be great, unfortuantely I have 3 projects to do, an essay, a Computer Science Project, and then the obligatory weekly Math Assignemnts for Differential Equations and also Matrix Algebra and the riciluously difficult physics homework.  It's been a lot of doing that stuff, even on Saturday I was doing Computer Science and Physics and Matrix Algebra.  Later Everyone, I'll post more tmrw, but as for now, I am absolutely 1--% exhausted, time for bed now...  G'Night

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 09, 2004 23:07 | link | comments (2)

well today, I'm going to work on physics and Matrix Algebra.  Should be rather boring....  Oh well, I'm probl going to hang out wiht friends later tonite so hopefully the day won't be too monotonous.  I haven't had a ahcance to post because I've had labout a billion hours of hw to do.  So there has been no free time for me.  Anyways, time to go work on hw.  Later!

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 07, 2004 12:36 | link | comments (1)

Well, everyone should read the poem that I posted earlier.  Anyways, I'm probly not going to get a chance to post tonight, seeing as how I have a Physics Lab Report to write.  Hopefully it won't take me too long and I will be able to getsome work done on my book later.....  We'll see.  Anyways, I'll post a poemorsomething later ifI get a chance, but I'm going to spend most of tmrw night and most of Friday working on my computer science project.  Later y'all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 04, 2004 14:56 | link | comments

 

So This Is How It Ends?

 

So this is how it ends
Without a reason, without a thought
You promised me it'll be alright
You told me fairytales, told me lies
I believed you, foolish as I am
You swore we'd be together 'till the bitter end
You swore I was so much different from all the men you knew
You swore you'd support me in all my actions
You swore you'd never let me down
You promised to never leave my side
You promised you loved me for what I am
You promised you would fight to your last breath
You promised I would never have to suffer again

And this is how it ends
With a kick into the face of the one who believed in you
With a punch into the face of the one who still loves you
It's not enough to hurt my feelings
You won't stop until you see me broken on the floor
You are to blame, it's all your fault
And you never seemed to try to apologize
And you never told me how far things really have gone
And you've been out to party while I was crying in my room
And you act like you don’t even care
About the one you loved so much that it was crazy
So honestly that a thousand armies wouldn't keep us apart
The one who made you cry because of all your happiness
The one who wrote you poems and now is faced with lies

 

So this is how it ends
You don't answer my calls and don't open my letters
You spend your time with other guys
But I cannot try to love another
You can't ignore me, I still exist
The same boy you always knew and truly loved
All the same but without his heart
You act like you are someone else but I am still the same
I don't like the person I see before me
I want the one who loved me back
The one who smiles whenever I do
The one whose eyes tell me "I love you"
The one who eases all my pain by simply being there
What makes it so hard for you to smile?
What's with all our common memories?
We really don't deserve this

So this is how it ends???

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 03, 2004 16:42 | link | comments

poem of the night.  or something like htat, seeing as how I haven't posted one in a while.  Hope this one's up to par.

Poisoned Kisses

 

You and your
Poisoned kisses

Sweet words
Dripping with venom

Anger
Disguises my pain
As the hole in my heart
Is again wrenched open

And as disgusting as it is
And as scary as it is
It felt so right

 

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 02, 2004 21:21 | link | comments (1)

Sorry it's been a little while since I posted.  I spent all yesterday throwing my annual super bowl/commercial party.  Anyways, I'm still adding the final touches to my book.  HI'm waiting for the person whow as supposed to review it to write a review for me.  Other than that it's almost ready to go.  I'll post a poem later tonight hopeuflly, depending on how much of my hw I manage to get done.  Later all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at February 02, 2004 19:24 | link | comments